When in the office today, I noticed many people decided to show their patriotism before the holiday weekend by wearing red white and blue clothing and accessories. It made me think that maybe I should have rolled around in petroleum this morning and come to work showing my true American stripes. This led to an idea to dress up as a sea turtle, stand on the side of the interstate, light myself on fire and tell those assholes to quit driving so much. I pondered the legal, cosmetic and environmental damages involved and decided a quick Photoshop job would suffice.

Happy Independence Day! How free are you?